Happy Birthday Mom...

Today is/should have been my moms 59th birthday...so young...

Today sucks...

I should be taking my mom out to lunch today then going to get our usual mani/pedi for her birthday...

I know I could look at this situation in a completely different light and say "well, she's in a better place" but I cant, I'm selfish, I want her here with me where she should be.

Sunday night I went to go get subway for dinner. As I was driving home I was thinking "oh it's Sunday, I wonder if my mom is done with bells so I can talk to her?" and then I just felt stupid, so stupid that I could forget she's gone and I'll never talk to her again. It's almost like finding out again for the first time that she's gone...

Yup, today sucks!

There is this song that Taylor Swift wrote called "The Best Day" She wrote it for her mom. It's a great song. It reminds me a lot of the relationship that my mom and I had. She knew how to be a friend when I needed a friend, she knew how to be my mom when I needed my mom. She was amazing...