April 1, 2009

This was the post that I put yesterday on my blog:

For those of you that don't know yet, my Mom passed away sometime yesterday....And NO, this is not a sick April fools joke, although I wish more than anything in the world that it was. I still don't know the cause of death, but I do know she wasn't feeling well. She stayed home from work last Friday and called me Monday and asked if could take her to Urgent Care because she couldn't breathe. When I got to her house, her lips were blue and the tips of her fingers where blue and numb, but she still wanted to go to Urgent Care rather that the E.R. They told her she was hyper-ventilating and gave her two breathing treatments and released her. I'm no Dr, but seriously?! I should have just taken her to the E.R... I called her yesterday morning around 9 to check on her and she said she was doing better and then I tried calling her last night around 8 about 6 times and she never answered. I was hoping that maybe she was just sleeping, but then I called this morning and still no answer, so I called Gregory to leave school early to check on her. I guess I must have known...when I got out of the shower this morning, I just started crying for no reason. I just can't believe this is happening. I'm only 26...I still need my mom! And I called her for everything!!! I still feel like I have so much that I needed to learn from her. This wasn't like cancer where some Dr tells you , you have this long to live. At least you can somewhat prepare for that, but this...this was completely out of the blue. I'm pretty sure someone ripped my heart out of my chest, b/c I cant feel anything.
I loved my mom very much. She was the best mom ever. I cant remember being in a single fight with my mom. She never grounded me, she never judged me for anything, and she was always there for me, always. She loved her grand kids, she loved animals, she loved music, she loved her church, she loved God, and I know she loved me too. I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!